Sorry for I can only do little thing, not everything.

       Justice? Justice does not live. Justice does not win ever since here on earth. Justice does not mean to save or to protect, even to pay back or put back everything in place. It is just a word. Looking to dictionaries, seeing those words with definitions are somehow a deception. It is just put into word and remains a word. Compared to wind, we could feel its existence but justice, I don’t think so.

       I hear you crying. I hear your painful words. I see your hand stoned to hate. I see your blazing eyes like volcano. You wanted to burst out your magma and lava. I see your disastrous auras. I have seen it before. I have seen it in my own self before and now I am afraid because you are wearing the same darkness, an evil wanted to escape, a monster wanted to kill. That blood is the only way to satisfy you.

       What should I do? I shouldn’t tell you of my escape or I should? I shouldn’t teach you of my ways or I should? We are different. I don’t know if it is possible. Bless is in me because I could manage to seal every now and then the monster of destruction inside me but, how about you? How?

      I have in mind to talk to them personally but seeing genuinely the situation, that I knew them very well and predicted the possible ending of the conversation, I hold myself back. I know I am coward. Yes, I am. I hear you cry. I see you fall. But I could do nothing about it. I don’t have even a brave heart to take only one step and make these stop, because if I do, I have my price. I don’t want to fall with my family on my shoulder. If I pursue this way, I could save you but not my family. But if I choose to be a coward, I just let myself; I am accountable to many monsters that they would make because of their cruelty. Those people who concern themselves only on their benefits, people who look into their side and not to you, children. We both don’t have the answers. We both are oppress. We both have a tighten chains on our neck, one move and we will die.

       And I say to you children, do not think of it as unfair or injustice because honestly it is really unfair, though you heard me uttering words of injustice and unfair but then I realized that the more you complaint about it, the more you will strive hard to look to the word fair. And that word will never ever be grasped by our hand. We are here on earth. We are not yet in heaven so do not exhaust yourself looking for fair because I put on confidence that equality does not exist here.

       We are just blinded by words. We are all fool. And look, here we are still fooling ourselves. Because we need to sacrifice our own self for the better, since we believe we will harvest what we planted. All their heart wrecking words will be our heart sustaining words, all their harsh step on human dignity will remain a mark that instead of discouraging us, encourage us to grow and to continue.

        Our family expects too much from us and we do not want them to be disappointed however, if we fail to fulfill their expectations, our sufferings compared of what we experienced here, will be multiplied. I know it is really hard. I have it. We share of the same pain today. We are all having this today. This very moment of time, we can decide to protest but we can’t. We can go home and leave but we can’t. We can’t. And I’m sorry about it. I’m sorry because I choose to remain coward. I’m sorry because I have caused you pain of disappointment. All I could do is to give you an open arm, a comforting thought to make you feel better, though it is for a while but I hope it helps. I am sorry. I wanted to but I can’t. I am sorry for I can only do little thing, not everything.